Pot Stirrer: DeShawn

“Relationships in the rear view”

Inquiry is everything, and you would be surprised what questions a person will actually answer when they feel the safety of someone from their past. Ladies, let’s talk about what we do when the relationship is over, and we are looking in the rearview, because if hindsight is 20/20, we should not make the same mistakes twice, right? We should not be repeating history, right?

I showed this meme to a few of my man friends, they get that level of respect as they handle business, are not about the drama, and tend to be intentional in their interactions both professionally and privately. I asked them to help me, what I believe to be a level-headed person in my older adulthood, understand why they have more energy trying to win a good woman back, after she is long gone, and what is it that does not resonate while she is there with them, that becomes an unbearable void, once she is gone.

The answers were somewhat varied, but ultimately, I found that the responsibility of the future of the relationship was predicated on how short sighted and in the moment, men tend to be while in a committed relationship versus women who are planners and strategist, and who tend to lay out the next few steps of their lives. For a man who feels that he has time and space for something more intense, a relationship must fit into their day to day operations, until either it no longer fits, or he deems it necessary to think in a more long-term manner about his mate.

Hearing this, I took some intentional time to look in the rear-view mirror and really look at how important it was to live in the moment with someone or how important it is to truly look into the future with everyone I encounter. I mean who has time to waste time? I am upfront and honest about the time that I have to lend, and for a hustler if it doesn’t make money then it doesn’t make sense. However, in the rear view, there may not even need to be any adjustments until I recognize how the person sitting across from me, or who I swiped right on really fits into my day to day futuristic dreaming, because at the end of the day, if I am falling for the person’s presence, in due time, the right person becomes more than a place filler or an adjustment to be made for the regularly scheduled programming.

Keep Stirring Sis,

-DeShawn

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