Pot Stirrer: Sam

 

Relationships: Cinderella fell…only to rise again

So, my 6 year old is one of my world’s biggest blessings. But let me tell you - co-parenting with someone you wish you never had to see again is not for the faint of heart.

Picture it, about 8 or 9 years ago, and a new relationship starting. He has the cutest little girl that just expands your heart just like the Grinch 10 times more. We were blessed with another baby about a year and half later in July of 2015. Perfect, right. Well, 3 days postpartum we come home, and I just feel in my gut I will be raising my daughter by myself. Hormones? Or so I thought. I just brushed it off because that wasn’t going to happen. Not to us. No way. We were engaged on Thanksgiving that same year, then bought a new house in January of the next. Life seemed to be PERFECT…But then, it wasn’t. With our different work shifts, I hardly ever saw this boy. He would be working late hours, and then come home some nights, started “falling asleep on the couch” and then just not coming home. You know, we WERE NOT in a good place. Mother’s Day rolls around. Supposed to be my favorite one yet because it’s my first one with our new baby…WRONG! I was completely ignored! He also took his daughter and completely ignored me the whole day, and didn’t even let me enjoy the part of the day I got to spend with her. Thank the Lord above for my mama. She made sure it was still a great day. Keep in mind, the day before this, we had just signed the FINAL CONTRACTS for our wedding that was to happen that September. THE FINAL ONES. Basically meaning, you still pay us, regardless of what happens.

Here it comes. TUESDAY. This little boy is ignoring me like the plague. Making me feel like I am a problem. Then, tells me at 4 in the afternoon, “We need to talk.” Please note, at this point, he was not getting off work until almost 2 AM. So the baby is asleep. I call my two best girls and I tell them he is leaving me. I call my mom. Tell her as well. They all disagree. Think he’s just having cold feet. I wait up. He comes home. He won’t say a damn word as I am losing my mind trying to get answers from this boy. Finally, it comes out. “We can’t fix this. We fight too much.” I was FLOORED. We never fought. Probably should have with your couch sleeping and not coming home but we didn’t. I was a slave to this house, to both of your kids, and to work. That was it. The house wasn’t in my name yet so Bye-Bye. My baby and I packed up and I left the next day. I WAS HURT. BROKEN. SHATTERED. Keep in mind I had a whole wedding planned and cancelled less than 4 months before the day it was supposed to happen. He tried to play with my heart for 2 months after that until I got myself back and realized I wasn’t going to be anything less than a priority to a man. Cheaters will always be that. ALWAYS. But, who was going to want a single mom? I mean my gosh, what baggage.

Y’all, there is a happy ending. I have known my husband nearly all of my life, and he knew me. I should have known he was going to be the one because trying to plan my first date around my girl, he was like “Just bring her. It’s fine” Really? I was nervous, but it was hard to do being a single parent. Truth is, If I had to do it any other way, we may not be where we are today. He was INVOLVED from the jump. He loved her. I know that he loved her before he ever loved me. She was AMAZING then and even more amazing now. But this man of mine? Well, he wanted me to quit my slave of a job, and find something that allowed me to be a mom that could experience more with her babies. I am off every break and every summer with my girls! I don’t miss after school activities, and I can be at their school if I need to be. He helps around the house. Not always, but he does, but he does EVERYTHING to make our home beautiful at all times with all my crazy projects. And he has a hand in caring for our children. We are a team, partners, Buzz & Woody if you will. And he’s a crier y’all. So the day he got down on one knee, he cried tears of joy. And my baby jumping up and down as it was happening was even better. And the day we got married? When I tell you crocodile tears occurred, I mean it. I have never questioned this life with him. I have never doubted us making this work, even though he drives me CRAZY. The day our youngest daughter was born was another one of the happiest days of his life. We are growing together and building this life TOGETHER. It’s so easy to put walls up, but it’s the ones you’ve always had your guard down around that you have to look out for. It’s those crazy bearded red head’s that annoyed the crap out of you in high school that will give you the right glass slipper every time. And then he just gets to annoy you for the rest of your life.

Keep Stirring Sis,

-Sam