This month on the blog, we will be focusing on dealing with insecurities. The women that have submitted stories will be choosing what to focus on involving an insecurity that they have.
When I think about insecurities, I think about how much I
have grown in having confidence about myself. I have always been a bigger girl
and I have been on a crazy journey to self-acceptance. Most days I feel great
about myself but there are some days that my insecurities are very loud. My
goal is to always be honest and to be self-reflective. Growing up I let my
confidence about my weight stop me from doing a lot of things and it has been a
major factor in the shy Shatia that everyone knows. I’m naturally not a talker
but learning to deal with mean people, has made me an observer. I pick up on
vibes and I act accordingly.
Being a bigger woman, I noticed that there are things I do
to prevent people from connecting me to any stereotypes that people have about
fat people. I don’t want to appear messy, I always make sure that I look good
and that my clothes fit nicely. I don’t want to appear lazy or like a slob. Why
should I even be so focused on those things? It’s because I’ve become
accustomed to the stares, the mean remarks, and everything that comes with
being fat in a society that will always make, being “fat” the worst thing you
can be. I am done with that! I have bad days, I have days where I want to do
nothing, when my outfit is a mess, and that is ok. I’m allowed to have that.
A lot of people can’t stand a fat person that has confidence
because they can’t fathom a bigger person not being miserable. I’ve learned
over the years, that people who have to make themselves feel better by calling
you fat, have inner issues that they need to work on. I know I’m fat and I don’t
need you to tell me. It took me a long time to stop letting being fat, be a
barrier for me. Now, if I see something I want to do or need, I’m doing what
needs to be done to get it! Taking a dance class, working out, learning new things,
I’m on it! These days the only thing that being fat has stopped me from
getting, is some jeans that won’t go over my thighs! Even then, it’s on to the
next pair because there’s plenty of options now.
People are going to think what they want and guess what?!! I’ve
learned not to give a damn. Every time I feel a certain way about something
that is done to me or said about me, I do some self -reflection. I focus on
what I can do better and how to achieve it. As I’ve gotten older, I have come
to the understanding that people will always have their assumptions and what do
they say about making assumptions? When you assume, you’ll make an ass out of
yourself! Believe me, there are a lot of “asses” walking around on this earth
and they’re certainly proud of themselves. Good for them.
What people think of you, has nothing to do with you. Learn
to smile in the face of haters and kill them with kindness. A miserable person
can’t stand that. We all have insecurities and I believe an insecurity is just
a kink that you haven’t worked out yet. Reflect, set goals, and knock those out
of the park! In the words of Queen B, “You
know you that bitch when you cause all this conversation” Guess what, my
fat ass, is gonna own it! LOL!
Keep Stirring Sis,
Shatia
Comments
Post a Comment